Updated: Mar 26, 2020
Happiness is 100% your choice. You are in charge of the the way that you feel and as you teach yourself to choose happiness, you will find the greatest joy in your life ever! Life is not perfect, and I think at this point, we all have had the harsh reality of finding that out, but you can choose how you react to life’s imperfections. “You always have the choice to be happy. Learn to understand the bumps in the road, grow from them, and STAY POSITIVE.” I’ve come up with 6 things to help you to remember to choose happy.
1. Your Happiness is Your Job
No one has been put on this earth to make you happy. That is 100% your job. Once you realize that, you can take on that responsibility! Guess who’s job it is not.. Your best friends, your mom’s, your boyfriend’s, your husband’s, your grandma’s, your wife’s. It’s yours. Nothing and no one will make you happy until you choose to be happy. The best relationships happen when two happy people can come together and be just as happy. Now you need to ask yourself what you need to do in order to find joy? It is so important to have independence in your happiness, that’s the only way to STAY happy.
2. You Cannot Control Everything: But You Can Control How You React
“Learn as quickly as you can that, so much of your happiness is in your hands, not in events or circumstances or fortune or misfortune.” -Jeffery Holland. There was a low point in my life where I just wanted to get out of a funk that was lasting too long! I knew that happiness was my job and no one else’s, so I went to the store picked out the cutest looking journal I could find, and wrote down all of the things that made me happy. I wrote down things like: spending time with a friend or loved one, going for a walk, having a cup of tea on the couch, working out, or listening to my favorite song, etc. I made an effort to spend time doing a few of those things every single day. I couldn’t change the circumstance that I was in, but I could change how I was handling it. Taking time for your happiness is the best way that you can react in any situation. Warning: This will require some serious effort, and you will have to smile even when you don’t want to, but it is so worth it!
3. Do The Things That Happy People Do:
Happy people are doing it right! There is a reason that happy people stay happy, and it isn’t because “nothing bad ever happens to them.” They have just learned that despite it all, they are going to choose happy! These people are your new role models. What do they do that you are going to implement? Observe and implement. We have all heard the line “Fake it till you make it.” This genius phrase could not be more correct. Start speaking more positively even when you aren’t feeling positive, start acting more positively, being more present, being excited, having a self care day, listening to uplifting ted talks or books, painting, sitting in nature, using laugh therapy and laugh even when you absolutely don’t want to! (Laughing, randomly, alone, in the street may deem you as crazy, but at least your happy!) Do the things that happy people do and see the change in yourself.
4. Mel Robbins 5-4-3-2-1 Rule:
First off, I think Mel Robbins is the most genius human ever and if you have no idea who I am talking about, stop reading and go look her up on youtube. AMAZING. This mindfulness pioneer came up with the 5-4-3-2-1 rule and it has changed my life! The idea is that anytime you are having a bad thought, feeling anxious, sad, stressed, cynical, or any other feeling that you don’t want to hold space for, you count down from 5 and think of something that makes you happy. Her research has shown that the counting actually begins to redirect your mind and help you to focus on something better. When you find yourself feeling anything that you don’t need to, count down from 5 and start over.
5. Grief & Joy Can Coexists
I know there are pains that you may being experiencing that are unimaginable to me. You may think, “Bri you just don’t understand.” You’re right. Maybe I don’t understand, but what I do know, is despite the situation you can find joy. I am a firm believer that grief and joy and coexist. You can grieve in whatever way you need to, but you can also be mindful of the simple happy moments, that make a tough time a little easier. “Happiness doesn’t mean that everything is perfect, it means you decided to look beyond the imperfection.” Find happiness by looking past the imperfections.
Find time to be mindful and grateful for the things that you currently have in your life. Unhappiness comes from comparing, judging, being cynical, and forgetting the amazing things around you. Take time to be grateful. Gratitude journals are a great way to do this. I like to write in my notes on my phone at least 3 things that I was especially grateful for that day. It could be spending time with a friend I haven’t seen in awhile or something as simple as having hot running water so I could take a bath! We tend to overlook the little things especially when we are going through the hard stuff. I challenge you, no matter what you’re going through, good or bad, to be mindful and grateful for the amazing things in your life and see the difference it makes!
If you are in a situation where you have the choice to choose happiness, I hope you choose it every time. Your life is made up of your choices and when you learn that happiness is a choice, you become so much more free. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for and if you need someone to remind you of how incredible you are, or remind you of the reasons to be happy, or to help you as your implementing some new things to make you happy, let me be that girl! Please reach out if you need me!
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