Forget Other's Expectations and Find Your GLOW
Updated: Mar 26, 2020
Raise your hand if you have ever had a goal that scared you. Raise your hand if you have ever had a goal that scared someone else for you! I don’t know what is worse; self doubt, or having someone you love doubt you.
I had one of those goals- I dropped out of school, started a business, and worked online for myself. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into, so of course I had some self doubt. But the stops in my path didn’t come from being overwhelmed or not knowing what to do, my biggest stops came from the opinions of people who I thought were supposed to be cheering me on.
Whether you’re starting your own business, cutting out sugar from your life, or going into a degree you never thought you would, when you are doing your thing, you are going to receive some pushback. And being the people pleaser that I am, these pushbacks became my biggest pitfalls.
My sophomore year of high school is where it all began for me. I walked through the doors to begin my next three years only to find mean girls, rumors, and a subpar education. On my first day of school, I had a total of zero friends and I called my mom at lunch to take me home so I wouldn’t have to sit by myself. I quickly became the greatest people pleaser you could ever meet. I basically begged for people to like me and I spent so much time worrying about what other people thought of me.
I share this not for anyone to feel sorry for the high school Bri, but in hopes that I can relate to the people pleaser, the high school loner, or anyone feeling stuck! I was there and it’s not a fun feeling. I truly believe that magic happens when you can finally stop caring about what other people think and just be YOU. You can literally feel this magic. When someone is unapologetically themselves, you know it. I’m going to call this feeling, your GLOW. The definition of glow is a continuous light, a positive feeling, or to look attractive because you are happy or healthy or content. When you finally get into that sweet spot called GLOW, you can actually do what you were made to do. I am a firm believer that each one of us has a job to do while we are here. We are all on this earth with different talents and different skills. We all have different things to accomplish, lessons to learn, and lives to live. It took me much longer than I’d like to admit, to realize this. Falling into your GLOW is an absolute art and a long journey, but one that is entirely worth being on.
How do you find this “glow”? How can you just shake off the doubt? I found my solution when doing some serious soul searching. Have you ever done something that you feel so good about? Something that you are so proud of, whether it is acing your midterm in a class that you are super passionate about, nailing that job interview, or even having a meaningful conversation with a friend. Pay attention to the way that you feel because those “This is ME” moments is what it feels like to glow.
Back in high school I was the furthest thing from glowing, in fact I wasn’t even flickering! I couldn’t think about my goals or my dreams because I cared too much about what other people thought. I never did the “thing” that I was wanting to do because the opinions of others made me too afraid.
After those high school years, I was able to finally let go of the people pleaser in me and I was able to do things for me. There were so many opportunities that came up in my life where I was able to feel this glow. As I reflect back on some of my proudest moments, I get chills that run down my arms just thinking about the things that made me glow. I started living for these experiences and I started living for myself.
Now, it’s easy to say that you are in your glow when everything seems to be going right. It’s easy to be the happiest person when you are on a beach in Bali or attending Paris Fashion week. I wanted to learn how to live in my GLOW even when everything was going wrong too.
This is where the hard part comes in. This is where you have to decide what is worth fighting for. This is where you hold onto your why with everything you have and you keep moving forward. This is where you choose to glow. Choosing to glow is where the change happens. It means getting out of bed when your alarm goes off at 6am without hitting the snooze. It means sticking through medical school because you know you want to be a doctor. It means doing the hard things even when you feel like quitting. Choosing to glow is choosing yourself and I hope this year that you choose YOU every time.