Updated: Aug 18, 2019
When I was really struggling, I couldn’t get out of my own WAY! I couldn’t look passed myself and I couldn’t see the world as it really was. For all you psychology buffs out there, I’m going to describe my personal progress through Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. For those of you who don’t know what that is, Maslow came up with the idea that humans center their actions based on their needs. There are 5 tiers of needs: Physiological, Safety, Love/Belonging, Esteem, and Self-Fulfillment. Maslow’s theory suggests that you can’t move to the next tier without fulfilling the previous need. So where was I on this pyramid? I was stuck in the psychological needs.
I’m pretty sure I was the poster child for not having those needs met! I wanted to be liked, I wanted to be loved, I needed friends and honestly had none. Then on top of that, I hated myself, I had no self esteem and I looked outward for validation instead of truly believing in myself. I needed that sense of belonging and I craved it. I came home from my LDS Mission to Russia, as a broken human. It wasn’t until a year later, that I was able to build myself up again, and take my life back.
Taking My Life Back- The Start of My Journey
March 2017: I was planning a trip to Hong Kong and the Philippines with two of my friends when last minute Britt Gardiner decided to come on the trip. Britt and I weren’t friends at that point, but heard about the trip and wanted to come. We were both really struggling (see her blog for details) and through this trip, decided that we needed each other. We bonded on this need of belonging and love. I won’t go into the detail, but I met my best friend on this trip and she helped to shape a huge part of my confidence.
I came to realized that I didn’t need validation from other people, I didn’t need everyone’s attention and I didn’t even need to be LIKED! I was secure in my current relationships and it helped me to become secure and confident in myself. Find people who remind you how incredible you are and stick with them until you can do that for yourself! Let me be that person if you need it.
Self-Fulfillment: Starting School and Moving to England
Once my needs were met, I was on to bigger and better things and I was on fire. I was so positive, my outlook on the world completely changed and I was ready to take it ON. I wanted to Start MY LIFE and I decided my first step would be to transfer to Kent University… in England. I got accepted to their International Business program and quickly settled in to my new home across the world! I LOVED IT. I met incredible people from all over the world, I was taught by dozens of International Experts and I met my amazingly supportive boyfriend.
After a few months I started to think, this can’t be it for me. My life HAS to be more than 3 years of university and a 40 years at a desk job. I took a step back and decided, what do I actually enjoy doing? What would I do for the rest of my life? How can I use my talents to help people?… Blogging. It was SO clear to me. I loved writing, I loved the freedom it gave me, I loved working for myself, I was able to be creative, and I loved that I had a place to put my passion. I finally felt like I knew where my place was and I want that for you.
Once your physical and emotional needs are met, that is where you have space to DREAM:
You are more than whatever circumstance you are in. You are more than just a mom, you are more than just a biology student, you are more than a number on a scale, and you are more than the person starring back at you in the mirror. Each one of us is filled with passion. We all have dreams, goals, and experiences that our heart beats for! Let me tell you the absolute secret to success: Find what you are passionate about and work your butt off until it’s your job. There IS a job for that dream, there IS a market for that dream, there IS a place for you, all you have to do is decide where you want that place to be.
I don’t know where you are on this pyramid of self fulfillment, but I do know what it is like to be struggling in the middle of it. I’ve been 100% unsure of myself and honestly, I will have moments where I question myself. I know what it is like to hate yourself and feel like you don’t belong. I’ve been friendless, I’ve been alone, and I genuinely want you to feel like you don’t have to be. Call me. Text me. Overcome and BECOME whatever it is that you want to be. If I can help in ANY way, please don't hesitate to reach out.
In next weeks blog I’m going to share the decision that changed my life and how I turned my passion into a career. If you are struggling, if you are standing in your own way, if you need a little push, I would 1000% recommend reading it, I’ll see you next week!
Ps. In the meantime, download my FREE Instagram Growth Checklist when you subscribe to my blog.